March 23, 2011: Day Five

I waited until Thursday to journal about Wednesday because I was too emotional. The morning was rough. It was day three of pavers and I had reached my breaking point. I was done cutting, done laying, done having to wear tennis shoes that were covered in cement dust and water. I was a little mopey the rest of the morning, but I survived. Lunch came and went and then it was time to go to the orphanage. Tuesday night we were told that emotions tend to run high on orphanage days. Understatement of the century. We arrived and pulled into a gated- and cement-walled-off area. We watched little girls watch us pull in and I wasn’t sure how to feel. We handed out gift bags and listened to wild chatter in Creole. Then a girl asked Ezra about a tampon, and he turned to Megan. Megan had to have Jackie, a male compound worker, translate. The little girls’ faces were that of sheer terror. We played “down by the banks” and a similar Haitian game that had us count “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9.” When that was over, we made friendship bracelets. The biggest hit, though, were our cameras. Mine went missing for a while, which worried me, but I got it back and found pictures of the inside of their tents. How the girls live that way year round, I’ll never know. We walked down and started working on preparing their garden. I just spent time with the girls. When we started passing candy out towards the end, I was amazed at how quickly the girls switched into survival mode. They’d pocket candy or run it to their bed and come back, claiming they never got any. It was hard to watch. After distributing punching balloons, the worst part came…saying goodbye. I had grown close with two girls, Mishlo and Jaylan. I squeezed eight year old Mishlo and told her I wanted her to be my second carry on and that I loved her. I hugged 16 year old Jaylan multiple times, telling her she was beautiful and that I loved her. As I jumped into the tap tap, I looked at her and she started to cry. That’s when I lost it. I blew her a kiss, told her I’d never forget her, that I’d pray for her, and that I’d love her forever. As we drove away, I realized that these girls probably have to think that people are temporary. We come into their world for a while, then leave, and maybe even forget about them. But Carolyn brought up a good point at tonight’s (Thursday’s) debrief. Our interactions may be temporary, but that brief interaction brings them hope and reminds them that they are not forgotten. And I can honestly say that I will not forget any of the sweet faces and souls I saw. Debrief was emotional. The orphans had a deep and lasting impact on everyone. I think almost the entire team cried at one point or another. It was really special and really beautiful. If that doesn’t demonstrate to those girls that they are loved and never be forgotten, I don’t know what will. I can’t believe that we only have two days left. This week has gone by so fast. I have to come back. Obviously, that’s my plan, but it’s something that I’ll need to talk to God about. I’m amazed at my relationship with Him and I’m forever in awe of His work. God, thank you. Haiti and it’s people are some of Your best work. Thank you for bringing me here. I’m forever humbled.