Transitions

Life is all about change. I have and haven't liked it. I have liked it because some of the changes and the surprises have been really good. Like counseling. Never planned on doing that. Or prisons. Never planned on that being a part of my life. But it is, and I am grateful.

But then there's the changes that don't feel as nice. The changes that say "Surprise! I'm here! Like it or not!" and you're left with a thousand questions. So...if you haven't figured it out by now, that's where I'm at.

I was born a planner. I like my life organized. My planner is always on my person and I feel a little panicked when I don't have it. I have a lot of lists and a nice little weekly planner white board hanging up by my desk. I don't think there's anything wrong with it (okay...maybe a little bit).

My life right now is in a period of change. It mostly has to do with school. Everything is about as clear as mud. I don't like it...I really don't like it. But I'm learning to roll with it. I may not be good, but that is what learning is for, isn't it?

I'm discovering that God is reminding me of a lot of things. I'm burdened and weary, and I am so thankful that He says to come to Him and He will give me rest. He's using my confused, empty, dark space and He's lingering there, waiting to reveal Himself in ways that are mighty. He's reminding me to look for the little blessings. Like when Caroline tells me that she thinks I'm pretty. Or when Catherine insists that I am not allowed to leave without a hug. Or when Audrey wants nothing more than to just cuddle with you.

Huh. Funny how God works to make things okay, even just temporarily.